You are! Yes you are! Handsome fellow, caught rappelling from the living room ceiling, and carefully placed outside for his photo shoot:
He wasn’t exactly thrilled with the camera — the lens would have scanned to him as one HELL of a big spider eye. His size and emerald chelicera suggest to me he’s a Phidippus audax — the Daring Jumping Spider from the family Salticidae. I realize that not everyone thinks jumping spiders are adorable [there’s at least one video out there that shows a pair of courting P. regis spiders with ballet music as the background audio], but if you do, here’s a nice video of another audax.
My beloved Word is very tolerant of my fascination with jumping spiders; we’ve set up some house rules about where spiders are ‘allowed’ to be, and if they violate human airspace, it’s my job to put them outside.
Trivia — while doing the searches for these links, I may have solved a 19 year old mystery — when I was leaving Pittsburgh, a large jumping spider with abdomen markings that reminded me of a metallic-banded wasp, decided to travel along in the lee of my car’s sideview mirror. I now think it might have been a female P. regis…. Anyone know if that’s likely? The thing was huge…..